A Political Satire
Characters
David — Independent candidate. Highly intelligent, deeply moral, painfully honest, but financially broke. Represents integrity without influence.
Mûngai — Tribal, loud, confident, and incompetent. Gives 200/= handouts and is adored for it. Represents populist failure.
Mwangi — Wealthy, educated, proud, and stingy. Believes voters should choose him “on merit” without incentives. Represents entitlement.
Mbûrû — Competent, visionary, well-funded but from a region with very few votes. Represents marginalized excellence.
Larians — Portray confusion, desperation, tribal thinking, and susceptibility to handouts.
Villager — Observes and interprets for the audience; voice of societal conscience.
Elders, Youth, Assistant, vendor, Local Villagers
ACT I — Announcements and Ambitions
Scene 1: The Kimende Market
(Morning. Chickens clucking. Vendors shouting. The Villager stands center stage.)
Villager: Election time again. A season when even the village drunkard acquires a manifesto. When promises grow faster than maize in rainy season. Watch — our heroes and our clowns begin to gather.
(Enter David. He carries a faded notebook and a cheap pen.)
David (clearing throat or what villagers call guthamara): Good people of Lari, I greet you. Today, I stand not on wealth… nor tribal backing… but on ideas.
(Vendors stop briefly. A child laughs. Someone whispers ‘Poor boy.’)
David: I believe leadership is service. I believe in accountability— (goat bleats loudly, drowning him) —Yes, even the animals agree.
Vendor: Eeh, David, we’ve heard these things. Do you have something small? For tea?
David: I don’t buy votes.
(Crowd loses interest instantly.)
Woman: Then don’t disturb market time.
(They go back to business. David stands alone.)
David (to himself): Ideas cost nothing… yet somehow they are too expensive for voters.
Scene 2: The Lari Hall
(Drums. The hall is full. Mungai enters like a celebrity. Followers chant his name.)
Crowd: Mungai! Mungai! Our son! Our tribe! Our hope!
Mungai (raising hands): My people! I come with love… loyalty… and 100 shillings for each of you!
(Roaring applause.)
Elder: He understands us! He speaks our language!
Mungai: Leadership is simple. Step one: Love your tribe. Step two: Feed them with small tokens. Step three: Shout louder than anyone else.
Youth: What is your development agenda?
Mungai: Agenda? (laughs) First things first — come take your 100 shillings!
(Stampede. People scramble.)
Villager (aside): Mungai. A masterpiece of empty charisma. He is like a drum — makes noise, but hollow inside.
Scene 3: Mwangi’s Mansion
(Mwangi sits on an expensive leather chair. His assistant stands with papers.)
Mwangi: Look at these polls. I am popular… but not enough. These villagers want money, don’t they?
Assistant: Yes sir. Very much.
Mwangi: I shall not reduce myself to bribery. Let them vote for quality!
Assistant: Sir… this is not a job interview. It’s politics.
Mwangi: Still, I refuse. I am a man of principle.
Assistant (quietly): Principle doesn’t win elections, sir.
Scene 4: Lari ya Kíanda
(Mburu stands at a podium in front of only twelve villagers.)
Mburu: Thank you all for coming. I have a comprehensive strategy for healthcare, education, and infrastructure—
Nyandûma: Will you build a road for our village?
Mburu: Of course. Development must reach even the smallest corners.
Kambûrû: We love you Mburu. But our numbers are small. We are like raindrops in a bucket.
Mburu: Then let each drop matter.
Villager: But democracy counts numbers, not quality. And Mburu is in the wrong geography.
ACT II — The Fire of Campaigns
Scene 1: David’s Struggle
(David holds a photo of brain as a “campaign tool.” A few youths gather.)
David: I come with ideas, not gifts.
Youth 1: Ideas don’t fill stomachs.
David: But they build the future.
Youth 2: The future can wait. Hunger cannot.
David: If I become your MP, I will fix—
Scene 3: The Reflection
(All candidates stand under a dim light.)
Mburu: I had leadership… but not numbers.
Mwangi: I had money… but not generosity.
David: I had vision… but no budget.
Mungai: And I had 100 shillings! Leadership is arithmetic — he who adds handouts subtracts opponents.
(He laughs loudly.)
Villager (stepping forward): And so, the clowns leave the stage…the clown of ideas, the clown of pride, the clown of isolation, and the crowned clown of handouts. In every election, there are people who vie; not to win, not to lead, but simply to accompany others to the battlefield. They are clowns. Their role is to entertain the voters while the unworthy rise to power.
Villager (raising hand): When citizens sell their vote, they buy their own suffering. When democracy elects a clown, the nation becomes a circus.
Curtain falls.
Characters
David — Independent candidate. Highly intelligent, deeply moral, painfully honest, but financially broke. Represents integrity without influence.
Mûngai — Tribal, loud, confident, and incompetent. Gives 200/= handouts and is adored for it. Represents populist failure.
Mwangi — Wealthy, educated, proud, and stingy. Believes voters should choose him “on merit” without incentives. Represents entitlement.
Mbûrû — Competent, visionary, well-funded but from a region with very few votes. Represents marginalized excellence.
Larians — Portray confusion, desperation, tribal thinking, and susceptibility to handouts.
Villager — Observes and interprets for the audience; voice of societal conscience.
Elders, Youth, Assistant, vendor, Local Villagers
ACT I — Announcements and Ambitions
Scene 1: The Kimende Market
(Morning. Chickens clucking. Vendors shouting. The Villager stands center stage.)
Villager: Election time again. A season when even the village drunkard acquires a manifesto. When promises grow faster than maize in rainy season. Watch — our heroes and our clowns begin to gather.
(Enter David. He carries a faded notebook and a cheap pen.)
David (clearing throat or what villagers call guthamara): Good people of Lari, I greet you. Today, I stand not on wealth… nor tribal backing… but on ideas.
(Vendors stop briefly. A child laughs. Someone whispers ‘Poor boy.’)
David: I believe leadership is service. I believe in accountability— (goat bleats loudly, drowning him) —Yes, even the animals agree.
Vendor: Eeh, David, we’ve heard these things. Do you have something small? For tea?
David: I don’t buy votes.
(Crowd loses interest instantly.)
Woman: Then don’t disturb market time.
(They go back to business. David stands alone.)
David (to himself): Ideas cost nothing… yet somehow they are too expensive for voters.
Scene 2: The Lari Hall
(Drums. The hall is full. Mungai enters like a celebrity. Followers chant his name.)
Crowd: Mungai! Mungai! Our son! Our tribe! Our hope!
Mungai (raising hands): My people! I come with love… loyalty… and 100 shillings for each of you!
(Roaring applause.)
Elder: He understands us! He speaks our language!
Mungai: Leadership is simple. Step one: Love your tribe. Step two: Feed them with small tokens. Step three: Shout louder than anyone else.
Youth: What is your development agenda?
Mungai: Agenda? (laughs) First things first — come take your 100 shillings!
(Stampede. People scramble.)
Villager (aside): Mungai. A masterpiece of empty charisma. He is like a drum — makes noise, but hollow inside.
Scene 3: Mwangi’s Mansion
(Mwangi sits on an expensive leather chair. His assistant stands with papers.)
Mwangi: Look at these polls. I am popular… but not enough. These villagers want money, don’t they?
Assistant: Yes sir. Very much.
Mwangi: I shall not reduce myself to bribery. Let them vote for quality!
Assistant: Sir… this is not a job interview. It’s politics.
Mwangi: Still, I refuse. I am a man of principle.
Assistant (quietly): Principle doesn’t win elections, sir.
Scene 4: Lari ya Kíanda
(Mburu stands at a podium in front of only twelve villagers.)
Mburu: Thank you all for coming. I have a comprehensive strategy for healthcare, education, and infrastructure—
Nyandûma: Will you build a road for our village?
Mburu: Of course. Development must reach even the smallest corners.
Kambûrû: We love you Mburu. But our numbers are small. We are like raindrops in a bucket.
Mburu: Then let each drop matter.
Villager: But democracy counts numbers, not quality. And Mburu is in the wrong geography.
ACT II — The Fire of Campaigns
Scene 1: David’s Struggle
(David holds a photo of brain as a “campaign tool.” A few youths gather.)
David: I come with ideas, not gifts.
Youth 1: Ideas don’t fill stomachs.
David: But they build the future.
Youth 2: The future can wait. Hunger cannot.
David: If I become your MP, I will fix—
(They walk away mid-sentence.)
David (defeated): Honesty… is the longest road in politics.
Scene 2: Mungai’s Rally
(Massive rally. Music thunders. Women ululate.)
Mungai: My tribe, greet your incoming MP!
Crowd: MUNGAAAIII!
Mungai: I promise jobs! I promise roads! I promise heaven! And until then… here—100 shillings!
(Crowd screams in joy.)
Villager: Mungai gives money today… to earn power tomorrow… so he can steal money the day after.
Scene 3: Mwangi’s Sad Door-to-Door Campaign
(Mwangi knocks on a door.)
Old Woman: Who are you?
Mwangi: A leader. A visionary. A man with a brilliant manifesto.
Old Woman: Do you have something small?
Mwangi: No, but I have policies.
Old Woman: Policies cannot buy unga.
(She closes the door.)
Mwangi (hurt): Why can’t they see my value?
Scene 4: Mburu at the Debate
(Candidates stand behind podiums. Villagers watch.)
Moderator: What is your plan for youth empowerment?
Mburu: Skill-based programs, innovation hubs, micro-financing—
David (defeated): Honesty… is the longest road in politics.
Scene 2: Mungai’s Rally
(Massive rally. Music thunders. Women ululate.)
Mungai: My tribe, greet your incoming MP!
Crowd: MUNGAAAIII!
Mungai: I promise jobs! I promise roads! I promise heaven! And until then… here—100 shillings!
(Crowd screams in joy.)
Villager: Mungai gives money today… to earn power tomorrow… so he can steal money the day after.
Scene 3: Mwangi’s Sad Door-to-Door Campaign
(Mwangi knocks on a door.)
Old Woman: Who are you?
Mwangi: A leader. A visionary. A man with a brilliant manifesto.
Old Woman: Do you have something small?
Mwangi: No, but I have policies.
Old Woman: Policies cannot buy unga.
(She closes the door.)
Mwangi (hurt): Why can’t they see my value?
Scene 4: Mburu at the Debate
(Candidates stand behind podiums. Villagers watch.)
Moderator: What is your plan for youth empowerment?
Mburu: Skill-based programs, innovation hubs, micro-financing—
(Crowd nods politely.)
David: Mentorship, transparency, job creation—
Mungai: Youth empowerment? Easy. When I win, each youth will get 100 shillings every visit!
(Crowd explodes with cheers.)
Mburu (whispering to David): We are finished.
David: We were finished the day people began selling votes.
ACT III — Truth After the Vote
Scene 1: The Polling Station
(Long queue. Excitement.)
Voter 1: I voted for Mungai. He gave me money.
Voter 2: I voted for our tribe. Leadership is tribal now.
Voter 3: I wanted David but… ah… I needed the 100 shillings.
Scene 2: Results Announcement
(Lights dim. Drums roll.)
Moderator: In fourth place… Mburu.
(Mburu nods respectfully.)
Moderator: In third place… Mwangi.
(Mwangi clenches jaw.)
Moderator: In second place… David.
(David sighs deeply but smiles.)
Moderator: And your elected leader is… MUNGAI!
(Crowd erupts in wild celebration.)
Mungai (dancing): My people! You have chosen well! You have chosen your son! You have chosen your— (Pauses dramatically) —ATM!
(Crowd screams with joy.)
David: Mentorship, transparency, job creation—
Mungai: Youth empowerment? Easy. When I win, each youth will get 100 shillings every visit!
(Crowd explodes with cheers.)
Mburu (whispering to David): We are finished.
David: We were finished the day people began selling votes.
ACT III — Truth After the Vote
Scene 1: The Polling Station
(Long queue. Excitement.)
Voter 1: I voted for Mungai. He gave me money.
Voter 2: I voted for our tribe. Leadership is tribal now.
Voter 3: I wanted David but… ah… I needed the 100 shillings.
Scene 2: Results Announcement
(Lights dim. Drums roll.)
Moderator: In fourth place… Mburu.
(Mburu nods respectfully.)
Moderator: In third place… Mwangi.
(Mwangi clenches jaw.)
Moderator: In second place… David.
(David sighs deeply but smiles.)
Moderator: And your elected leader is… MUNGAI!
(Crowd erupts in wild celebration.)
Mungai (dancing): My people! You have chosen well! You have chosen your son! You have chosen your— (Pauses dramatically) —ATM!
(Crowd screams with joy.)
Scene 3: The Reflection
(All candidates stand under a dim light.)
Mburu: I had leadership… but not numbers.
Mwangi: I had money… but not generosity.
David: I had vision… but no budget.
Mungai: And I had 100 shillings! Leadership is arithmetic — he who adds handouts subtracts opponents.
(He laughs loudly.)
Villager (stepping forward): And so, the clowns leave the stage…the clown of ideas, the clown of pride, the clown of isolation, and the crowned clown of handouts. In every election, there are people who vie; not to win, not to lead, but simply to accompany others to the battlefield. They are clowns. Their role is to entertain the voters while the unworthy rise to power.
Villager (raising hand): When citizens sell their vote, they buy their own suffering. When democracy elects a clown, the nation becomes a circus.
Curtain falls.
