A Satirical Play About Ego, Unity, and the Misleading Sweetness of Power
Characters
Villager – Narrator. The only person in Lari whose brain still works.
Ndegwa – An aspirant whose ego has its own ego. Refuses to step down for anyone.
Mwangi – Advocate for “Lower Lari.” Believes the seat belongs to his region this time.
Njoroge – Diaspora-funded aspirant. Speaks the people’s language but also speaks dollars.
Gichuka Waithera – The clean, fair, no-nonsense aspirant. The one they deliberately block.
Chorus of Lari Residents – Always complaining, always hopeful, always easily manipulated.
Mungai – The incumbent MP watching the chaos like a man eating roast maize during a fight.
ACT I – The Meeting of Aspirants Who Will Never Agree
Scene 1: The Call for Unity
(Lights up on a dusty Kirenga town hall. Plastic chairs. Warm soda. Aspirants seated at the front like stubborn roosters.)
Villager: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Lari Constituency— Where unity is preached, ego is practiced, and logic is an endangered species. Today, the aspirants have gathered to form a “United Front.” (Laughs) You already know this will fail.
(Ndegwa stands, straightening his coat like a governor in waiting.)
Ndegwa: Brethren, unity is important. But unity means all of you unite… behind me. After all, I am the natural leader. The obvious choice. The chosen one.
Mwangi: (rolling eyes aggressively) Ndegwa, calm down. Calm your destiny. We need fairness. Kamburu and Nyanduma have never had their turn. Lower Lari must rise. And who better to lead this united team than me? I represent balance. Equity. And… democracy of regions.
Villager: In other words, Mwangi believes the MP seat is rotational— Like a sufuria on the stove.
(Enter Njoroge, wearing sunglasses indoors.)
Njoroge: Gentlemen, please. Why argue? Lari loves me. I speak their language. I greet everyone, even goats. But also—let me be honest— I cannot step down. Diaspora people already invested in me. I promised them jobs, contracts, tenders— Everything except land on the moon. If I step down, I betray the dollars— I mean… I betray the people.
Villager: Aspirants of Lari, ladies and gentlemen; one driven by ego, one by regional entitlement, one by foreign currency. And then— Here enters the only sane person.
(Lights brighten on Gichuka Waithera, walking quietly, simply.)
ACT II – The Aspirant They Fear the Most
Scene 1: Gichuka Suggests Common Sense
Gichuka Waithera: My brothers, unity is good. But leadership is service. Let’s choose whoever can work for the people. Let’s prioritize integrity, fairness, and accountability.
(Silence. Aspirants stare at him like he just proposed banning nyama choma.)
Ndegwa: You? Lead us? Absolutely not. You don’t fear anyone. You don’t distribute handouts. You don’t attend fundraisers to show face. You would make systems work— And how would we survive in a system that works?
Mwangi: Exactly! Once the system works, where will we squeeze… opportunity?
Njoroge: My diaspora friends cannot invest in a man who blocks shortcuts. You are dangerous, Gichuka. Too clean. Too fair. Too firm.
Villager: And that is how the only sober aspirant was disqualified— Not by law, but by the fear of order.
ACT III – The Collapse of Unity
Scene 1: The Meeting Ends as Expected
(The hall erupts into chaos.)
Ndegwa: I lead or I leave!
Mwangi: Lower Lari or no unity!
Njoroge: I have diaspora obligations! I must be on the ballot!
Chorus of Lari Residents: (chanting) Unity! Unity! Unity! (whispers) But we know they will never unite.
Villager: Ladies and gentlemen, this unity meeting lasted shorter than a politician’s promise. The only person who could make unity real was Gichuka— So naturally, he is the one they removed.
ACT IV – The Re-Emergence of Mungai
Scene 1: The Incumbent Watches the Circus
(Lights shift to Mungai leaning on a tree, eating roasted maize, unbothered.)
Mungai: Ah, beautiful chaos. Exactly what I prayed for. Let them divide themselves like a badly shared inheritance. As they fight with ego and geography, I will slip back into office like a cat entering a warm house.
Villager: And that, my friends, is how disunity becomes a campaign strategy.
ACT V – The Villager Reveals the Bitter Truth
Scene 1: Final Monologue
(Lights fade into a single warm spotlight on the Villager.)
Villager: Listen carefully, oh people of Lari.
One: You cannot defeat bad leadership while carrying your own selfishness. Unity requires sacrifice— But here, everyone wants the crown.
Two: An ego like Ndegwa’s cannot bow. He would rather lose alone than win together.
Three: Mwangi wants fairness, yes— But only the fairness that favors his region.
Four: Njoroge is already compromised. Diaspora dollars have tied him like a goat at the market. He cannot step down even if angels begged him.
Five: The one man who could change everything— Gichuka Waithera— is feared not for weakness, but for strength. Honesty threatens the dishonest.
And six: This chaos puts Mungai, the incumbent, in the perfect position to reclaim his throne. (Lifts hands dramatically.) And that, my friends, is how Lari fights for change— and then hands victory back to the very person they wanted to remove.
(Lights fade. Curtain falls.)
Characters
Villager – Narrator. The only person in Lari whose brain still works.
Ndegwa – An aspirant whose ego has its own ego. Refuses to step down for anyone.
Mwangi – Advocate for “Lower Lari.” Believes the seat belongs to his region this time.
Njoroge – Diaspora-funded aspirant. Speaks the people’s language but also speaks dollars.
Gichuka Waithera – The clean, fair, no-nonsense aspirant. The one they deliberately block.
Chorus of Lari Residents – Always complaining, always hopeful, always easily manipulated.
Mungai – The incumbent MP watching the chaos like a man eating roast maize during a fight.
ACT I – The Meeting of Aspirants Who Will Never Agree
Scene 1: The Call for Unity
(Lights up on a dusty Kirenga town hall. Plastic chairs. Warm soda. Aspirants seated at the front like stubborn roosters.)
Villager: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Lari Constituency— Where unity is preached, ego is practiced, and logic is an endangered species. Today, the aspirants have gathered to form a “United Front.” (Laughs) You already know this will fail.
(Ndegwa stands, straightening his coat like a governor in waiting.)
Ndegwa: Brethren, unity is important. But unity means all of you unite… behind me. After all, I am the natural leader. The obvious choice. The chosen one.
Mwangi: (rolling eyes aggressively) Ndegwa, calm down. Calm your destiny. We need fairness. Kamburu and Nyanduma have never had their turn. Lower Lari must rise. And who better to lead this united team than me? I represent balance. Equity. And… democracy of regions.
Villager: In other words, Mwangi believes the MP seat is rotational— Like a sufuria on the stove.
(Enter Njoroge, wearing sunglasses indoors.)
Njoroge: Gentlemen, please. Why argue? Lari loves me. I speak their language. I greet everyone, even goats. But also—let me be honest— I cannot step down. Diaspora people already invested in me. I promised them jobs, contracts, tenders— Everything except land on the moon. If I step down, I betray the dollars— I mean… I betray the people.
Villager: Aspirants of Lari, ladies and gentlemen; one driven by ego, one by regional entitlement, one by foreign currency. And then— Here enters the only sane person.
(Lights brighten on Gichuka Waithera, walking quietly, simply.)
ACT II – The Aspirant They Fear the Most
Scene 1: Gichuka Suggests Common Sense
Gichuka Waithera: My brothers, unity is good. But leadership is service. Let’s choose whoever can work for the people. Let’s prioritize integrity, fairness, and accountability.
(Silence. Aspirants stare at him like he just proposed banning nyama choma.)
Ndegwa: You? Lead us? Absolutely not. You don’t fear anyone. You don’t distribute handouts. You don’t attend fundraisers to show face. You would make systems work— And how would we survive in a system that works?
Mwangi: Exactly! Once the system works, where will we squeeze… opportunity?
Njoroge: My diaspora friends cannot invest in a man who blocks shortcuts. You are dangerous, Gichuka. Too clean. Too fair. Too firm.
Villager: And that is how the only sober aspirant was disqualified— Not by law, but by the fear of order.
ACT III – The Collapse of Unity
Scene 1: The Meeting Ends as Expected
(The hall erupts into chaos.)
Ndegwa: I lead or I leave!
Mwangi: Lower Lari or no unity!
Njoroge: I have diaspora obligations! I must be on the ballot!
Chorus of Lari Residents: (chanting) Unity! Unity! Unity! (whispers) But we know they will never unite.
Villager: Ladies and gentlemen, this unity meeting lasted shorter than a politician’s promise. The only person who could make unity real was Gichuka— So naturally, he is the one they removed.
ACT IV – The Re-Emergence of Mungai
Scene 1: The Incumbent Watches the Circus
(Lights shift to Mungai leaning on a tree, eating roasted maize, unbothered.)
Mungai: Ah, beautiful chaos. Exactly what I prayed for. Let them divide themselves like a badly shared inheritance. As they fight with ego and geography, I will slip back into office like a cat entering a warm house.
Villager: And that, my friends, is how disunity becomes a campaign strategy.
ACT V – The Villager Reveals the Bitter Truth
Scene 1: Final Monologue
(Lights fade into a single warm spotlight on the Villager.)
Villager: Listen carefully, oh people of Lari.
One: You cannot defeat bad leadership while carrying your own selfishness. Unity requires sacrifice— But here, everyone wants the crown.
Two: An ego like Ndegwa’s cannot bow. He would rather lose alone than win together.
Three: Mwangi wants fairness, yes— But only the fairness that favors his region.
Four: Njoroge is already compromised. Diaspora dollars have tied him like a goat at the market. He cannot step down even if angels begged him.
Five: The one man who could change everything— Gichuka Waithera— is feared not for weakness, but for strength. Honesty threatens the dishonest.
And six: This chaos puts Mungai, the incumbent, in the perfect position to reclaim his throne. (Lifts hands dramatically.) And that, my friends, is how Lari fights for change— and then hands victory back to the very person they wanted to remove.
(Lights fade. Curtain falls.)
