A Sarcastic Political Play from Lari
Characters
Narrator – Dry, observant, and allergic to political lies.
Chorus of Lari Well-Wishers – Always congratulating, never committing.
Gichuka Waithera – A man cursed with ideas and integrity.
Wanjiru – The Woman Who Tried. Three times.
Wandûma – The Man Who Borrowed to Impress.
The Spirit of Handouts – Loud, hungry, and always smiling.
The Stranger – Unknown, untested, but mysteriously electable.
ACT I – “Matírí tha na mwana mateciaríire”
A village WhatsApp group comes alive. Phones glow. Celebration emojis explode.
Narrator: When Lari hears that one of their own wants to vie for any political office, they do not panic. They celebrate. They congratulate. They send long messages that cost nothing.
Chorus (typing loudly): “Congratulations Gichuka!” “Go for it our son!” “Lari needs fresh leadership!” “We are fully behind you!” “Mheshimiwa in Advance.”
Narrator (pauses): Behind him— But not with him.
Gichuka (reading messages, smiling): Ah. Encouragement. The cheapest currency in Lari.
ACT II – The Unspoken Expectation
A table is set. Empty plates. Voters gather expectantly.
Spirit of Handouts (rubbing hands): So… when do we eat?
Gichuka: Eat?
Chorus: You know… facilitation. Transport. Appreciation. Just small small.
Narrator: In Lari, support is rented. Ideas are free, but no one wants them.
Gichuka (calmly): I am not buying votes. Either you buy my ideas— Or forget me.
Silence. Shock. A plate falls.
Chorus (whispering): Did he just say… no handouts?
ACT III – Remembering Wanjiru
A dim light. Wanjiru steps forward, tired but dignified.
Narrator: Lari remembers selectively. But history remembers accurately.
Wanjiru: I sold land. I sold livestock. I sold dignity— To please Lari people.
Chorus (mocking): “Kairítu gaitû!” “Our daughter!”
Narrator: They called her theirs. Then voted for someone else. Three times.
Wanjiru (quietly): They clapped until I became poor. Then said I was weak.
ACT IV – Wandûma and the Loan
Wandûma enters carrying IOUs.
Wandûma: I borrowed. From friends. From enemies. From the future.
Spirit of Handouts (cheering): Now this one understands leadership!
Narrator: He gave generously. He lost spectacularly.
Wandûma: I paid interest on votes that never came back.
ACT V – Gichuka’s Crime
Narrator: Gichuka committed the greatest sin in Lari politics.
Chorus: Which one?
Narrator: He refused to beg. He refused to bribe. He refused to bleed financially to entertain voters emotionally.
Gichuka: I am not here for sympathy. Not power. Not money. I want to fix what is broken.
Spirit of Handouts (offended): How rude.
ACT VI – The Final Irony
The Stranger appears. No history. No ideas.
Chorus (excited): Who is he?
Narrator: Nobody knows.
Chorus: Where is he from?
Narrator: Not here.
Chorus (confidently): But gaka nígaitû gwíciaríra!
Narrator (smiling sadly): And yet— They vote the stranger.
Ballot box closes.
FINAL ACT – The Truth That Hurts
Gichuka (standing alone): Lari does not lack leaders. It lacks honesty with itself.
Narrator (final words): They encouraged him to run. Not to win— But to increase competition for handouts. Lari did not reject Gichuka Waithera. It rejected self-reflection. And tomorrow, when nothing changes, they will ask again: “Why do our leaders fail us?”
Curtain falls.
Characters
Narrator – Dry, observant, and allergic to political lies.
Chorus of Lari Well-Wishers – Always congratulating, never committing.
Gichuka Waithera – A man cursed with ideas and integrity.
Wanjiru – The Woman Who Tried. Three times.
Wandûma – The Man Who Borrowed to Impress.
The Spirit of Handouts – Loud, hungry, and always smiling.
The Stranger – Unknown, untested, but mysteriously electable.
ACT I – “Matírí tha na mwana mateciaríire”
A village WhatsApp group comes alive. Phones glow. Celebration emojis explode.
Narrator: When Lari hears that one of their own wants to vie for any political office, they do not panic. They celebrate. They congratulate. They send long messages that cost nothing.
Chorus (typing loudly): “Congratulations Gichuka!” “Go for it our son!” “Lari needs fresh leadership!” “We are fully behind you!” “Mheshimiwa in Advance.”
Narrator (pauses): Behind him— But not with him.
Gichuka (reading messages, smiling): Ah. Encouragement. The cheapest currency in Lari.
ACT II – The Unspoken Expectation
A table is set. Empty plates. Voters gather expectantly.
Spirit of Handouts (rubbing hands): So… when do we eat?
Gichuka: Eat?
Chorus: You know… facilitation. Transport. Appreciation. Just small small.
Narrator: In Lari, support is rented. Ideas are free, but no one wants them.
Gichuka (calmly): I am not buying votes. Either you buy my ideas— Or forget me.
Silence. Shock. A plate falls.
Chorus (whispering): Did he just say… no handouts?
ACT III – Remembering Wanjiru
A dim light. Wanjiru steps forward, tired but dignified.
Narrator: Lari remembers selectively. But history remembers accurately.
Wanjiru: I sold land. I sold livestock. I sold dignity— To please Lari people.
Chorus (mocking): “Kairítu gaitû!” “Our daughter!”
Narrator: They called her theirs. Then voted for someone else. Three times.
Wanjiru (quietly): They clapped until I became poor. Then said I was weak.
ACT IV – Wandûma and the Loan
Wandûma enters carrying IOUs.
Wandûma: I borrowed. From friends. From enemies. From the future.
Spirit of Handouts (cheering): Now this one understands leadership!
Narrator: He gave generously. He lost spectacularly.
Wandûma: I paid interest on votes that never came back.
ACT V – Gichuka’s Crime
Narrator: Gichuka committed the greatest sin in Lari politics.
Chorus: Which one?
Narrator: He refused to beg. He refused to bribe. He refused to bleed financially to entertain voters emotionally.
Gichuka: I am not here for sympathy. Not power. Not money. I want to fix what is broken.
Spirit of Handouts (offended): How rude.
ACT VI – The Final Irony
The Stranger appears. No history. No ideas.
Chorus (excited): Who is he?
Narrator: Nobody knows.
Chorus: Where is he from?
Narrator: Not here.
Chorus (confidently): But gaka nígaitû gwíciaríra!
Narrator (smiling sadly): And yet— They vote the stranger.
Ballot box closes.
FINAL ACT – The Truth That Hurts
Gichuka (standing alone): Lari does not lack leaders. It lacks honesty with itself.
Narrator (final words): They encouraged him to run. Not to win— But to increase competition for handouts. Lari did not reject Gichuka Waithera. It rejected self-reflection. And tomorrow, when nothing changes, they will ask again: “Why do our leaders fail us?”
Curtain falls.
