We are talking about mental disorders, and now we come to something very important. If we want to diagnose mental disorders, only mental health specialists are trained and allowed to do that. No one should decide that a person has a mental disorder if they are not a mental health specialist. But even though diagnosis belongs to professionals, there is another side of mental health that belongs to families, caregivers, and the people who live with someone every day. That is where mental health awareness truly starts. Parents raising a child with autism. A wife living with a husband who has bipolar disorder. A brother supporting a sister with schizophrenia. A family dealing with borderline personality disorder. These are the people who see the daily reality, not in a clinic once a month, but in the house, in the compound, in the routine of life. And because they are the closest, the way they respond can either make the condition easier to manage—or make it worse.
The first and most important thing is learning about the person living with the disorder. Not studying them like a project, but understanding them as a human being. Knowing how they experience life. Knowing what calms them. Knowing what stresses them. Knowing what kind of support makes them feel safe. Because every person has their own life. And people with mental disorders still have a life just like everyone else. They are not objects to be controlled. They are not prisoners. They are not shameful secrets. They are not “problems to be hidden.” They are people. That is why caregivers must stop dictating how a person should live simply because the person has a mental health condition. Support is not dictatorship. Support is not control. Support is not punishment.
A person with a mental disorder has rights like any other person. They can marry. They can have children. They can work. They can contribute. I know people who work in different stores. Some push carts. Some stock shelves. Some clean. Some do simple duties. Some can do much more than people assume. They should not be secluded. They should not be sidelined. They should not be segregated. They should be incorporated into the community and supported to live as normally as possible.
Mental illness should be treated the way we treat other illnesses. The way we live with someone who has diabetes, cancer, TB, flu, or any other medical condition—that is the same respect we should show someone with a mental health condition. Not fear. Not shame. Not cruelty.
There are practices that happen in many places, and they are wrong. Some families lock people with mental disorders inside the house. That is wrong. Some tie them with ropes. That is wrong. Some treat them like criminals instead of family. That is wrong. And then there is another dangerous issue: forcing medication.
If a person refuses medication, people must understand that every human being has the right to refuse medication. Forcing medication can lead to harm, injury, and even death. Some caregivers hide medication inside food or juice to trick someone into taking it. That is also wrong. It destroys trust. It turns the caregiver into a controller instead of a supporter. It can also cause serious medical complications if the person reacts badly or if the medication is given without proper monitoring. Caregiving is not about becoming a police commander in the house. It is not about issuing commands. It is not about force. It is about support.
Now, there are situations where a person is not able to make safe decisions because they are severely unwell, confused, or completely disconnected from reality. That becomes a different case, and that is where professionals and emergency systems come in. But in many situations, most people can still choose what they want to eat, what they want to wear, when they want to shower, what they want to do in a day, and how they want to live. If they can decide, then let them decide—and support them in that.
I want to repeat this clearly: do not lock your people inside the house. Let them go out. Let them breathe. Let them walk. Let them see people. Let them do what they can do. I remember a time when I worked in a rich man’s home, around 2002. I was taking care of cows. In that home, the house helps (caregivers) kept changing. One would come for two days and leave. Another would come for three days and go. The turnover was extremely high, and at first I did not understand why.
Later, I realized the family had a child with autism. They were hiding that child. They did not want the child to be seen. They kept the child locked inside. They were living with stigma, stereotypes, and fear. And because of that, the caregivers kept leaving. Nobody was prepared. Nobody was supported. Nobody wanted to stay. What shocked me is that I had been in that home for a whole month and didn’t even know the family had that child. That is how hidden the child was. That is wrong. A child is not a shame. A person is not a secret. A mental disorder is not a reason to imprison someone.
There is a rule people learn in security studies: if something does not harm others, you have the right to do it. That rule can help caregivers too. If the person’s actions are not harming other people, allow them to live. Allow them to do what they can do. Allow children to go to school if they can be safe. Allow adults to work if they can work. Allow them to participate in community life. Support them, guide them, and keep safety in mind—but do not destroy their dignity.
So if you ask me, “What is the first thing caregivers and family members must know?” It is this: learn the person. Know what time they like to wake up. Know the kind of food they prefer. Know what routines help them feel stable. Know what triggers stress. Know when they want a shower. Know when they want to go out. Know what makes them feel respected. Then support them to live the kind of life they want—without forcing, without imposing, without treating them like prisoners. That is the foundation of mental health awareness.
The first and most important thing is learning about the person living with the disorder. Not studying them like a project, but understanding them as a human being. Knowing how they experience life. Knowing what calms them. Knowing what stresses them. Knowing what kind of support makes them feel safe. Because every person has their own life. And people with mental disorders still have a life just like everyone else. They are not objects to be controlled. They are not prisoners. They are not shameful secrets. They are not “problems to be hidden.” They are people. That is why caregivers must stop dictating how a person should live simply because the person has a mental health condition. Support is not dictatorship. Support is not control. Support is not punishment.
A person with a mental disorder has rights like any other person. They can marry. They can have children. They can work. They can contribute. I know people who work in different stores. Some push carts. Some stock shelves. Some clean. Some do simple duties. Some can do much more than people assume. They should not be secluded. They should not be sidelined. They should not be segregated. They should be incorporated into the community and supported to live as normally as possible.
Mental illness should be treated the way we treat other illnesses. The way we live with someone who has diabetes, cancer, TB, flu, or any other medical condition—that is the same respect we should show someone with a mental health condition. Not fear. Not shame. Not cruelty.
There are practices that happen in many places, and they are wrong. Some families lock people with mental disorders inside the house. That is wrong. Some tie them with ropes. That is wrong. Some treat them like criminals instead of family. That is wrong. And then there is another dangerous issue: forcing medication.
If a person refuses medication, people must understand that every human being has the right to refuse medication. Forcing medication can lead to harm, injury, and even death. Some caregivers hide medication inside food or juice to trick someone into taking it. That is also wrong. It destroys trust. It turns the caregiver into a controller instead of a supporter. It can also cause serious medical complications if the person reacts badly or if the medication is given without proper monitoring. Caregiving is not about becoming a police commander in the house. It is not about issuing commands. It is not about force. It is about support.
Now, there are situations where a person is not able to make safe decisions because they are severely unwell, confused, or completely disconnected from reality. That becomes a different case, and that is where professionals and emergency systems come in. But in many situations, most people can still choose what they want to eat, what they want to wear, when they want to shower, what they want to do in a day, and how they want to live. If they can decide, then let them decide—and support them in that.
I want to repeat this clearly: do not lock your people inside the house. Let them go out. Let them breathe. Let them walk. Let them see people. Let them do what they can do. I remember a time when I worked in a rich man’s home, around 2002. I was taking care of cows. In that home, the house helps (caregivers) kept changing. One would come for two days and leave. Another would come for three days and go. The turnover was extremely high, and at first I did not understand why.
Later, I realized the family had a child with autism. They were hiding that child. They did not want the child to be seen. They kept the child locked inside. They were living with stigma, stereotypes, and fear. And because of that, the caregivers kept leaving. Nobody was prepared. Nobody was supported. Nobody wanted to stay. What shocked me is that I had been in that home for a whole month and didn’t even know the family had that child. That is how hidden the child was. That is wrong. A child is not a shame. A person is not a secret. A mental disorder is not a reason to imprison someone.
There is a rule people learn in security studies: if something does not harm others, you have the right to do it. That rule can help caregivers too. If the person’s actions are not harming other people, allow them to live. Allow them to do what they can do. Allow children to go to school if they can be safe. Allow adults to work if they can work. Allow them to participate in community life. Support them, guide them, and keep safety in mind—but do not destroy their dignity.
So if you ask me, “What is the first thing caregivers and family members must know?” It is this: learn the person. Know what time they like to wake up. Know the kind of food they prefer. Know what routines help them feel stable. Know what triggers stress. Know when they want a shower. Know when they want to go out. Know what makes them feel respected. Then support them to live the kind of life they want—without forcing, without imposing, without treating them like prisoners. That is the foundation of mental health awareness.
