I want to talk about depression. Depression is a mood disorder, and it is serious. It is not just a bad day. It is not just feeling down once in a while. Depression is heavy, and it can affect how a person functions in life. But one thing I want to say clearly is this: depression is treatable, especially when a person seeks help early. From the beginning of this book, I have repeated one message—people should not wait for the extreme. Many people wait until symptoms become too severe, until life has completely broken down, and that is when they begin to look for medication or support. But depression, like many mental disorders, needs to be addressed early.
Depression affects the body, the mind, and the thoughts. It does not stay in one place. It spreads into how a person sleeps, how a person eats, how a person thinks, and how a person sees themselves. It changes the inside of a person in ways that others may not easily understand, especially if they have never experienced it.
From what I have learned, depression is connected to an imbalance of chemicals in the brain—especially the chemicals that regulate mood. The brain has systems that help a person feel balanced emotionally, and when that mood regulation becomes disturbed, depression can develop. And when depression begins, it starts showing itself in a person’s daily life in ways that cannot be ignored.
One of the biggest signs of depression is sadness, but it is a special kind of sadness. Normal sadness comes and goes. A person can feel sad because of something painful, then with time the sadness reduces. But the sadness of depression stays. It sits in a person for weeks. Sometimes for months. It remains even when there is no immediate event happening. And because it stays, it starts interfering with normal functioning. A person may not feel motivated to go to work. They may not feel interested in the things they used to enjoy. Their sleep may change. Their appetite may change. Their life may begin to shift quietly, slowly, and painfully.
As I talk about symptoms, I want to describe them in the way I have observed them and heard them explained. One symptom is social withdrawal. A person begins to hide. They pull away from people. They stop attending gatherings. They avoid friends. They stay indoors. Depression can make someone disappear while they are still alive. I have seen it. I know of a girl who stayed almost a whole year in a cycle of sleeping, waking up, eating, and going back to bed—without leaving the house. That kind of withdrawal is not laziness. That is illness. That is a mind and body that have lost strength.
Another symptom is persistent sadness—the kind that remains and does not lift. Alongside sadness, there is hopelessness. The person begins to feel like they are not worthy. They begin to feel like life will not improve. They begin to feel like they are stuck. Depression changes how a person talks to themselves inside their mind. It can make someone feel small, defeated, and ashamed even when others see them as valuable.
Depression can also cause difficulty concentrating. A person’s mind becomes slow. Focus becomes hard. Memory becomes affected. Forgetfulness increases. Even simple tasks can feel confusing. The brain becomes tired, and thinking becomes heavy.
Another symptom is change in appetite. Some people eat less and lose weight. Others eat more and gain weight. This is important because many people think depression only looks like weight loss. But depression can also bring weight gain. So weight changes—either direction—can be a sign. Sleep also changes. Some people sleep too much. Others cannot sleep. Either way, the person’s sleeping pattern becomes different from what it used to be. And because sleep is disturbed, energy is disturbed as well.
Loss of energy is another symptom. A person feels weak. They feel drained. They lose interest in what they used to love. Someone who was once active in business may suddenly feel no desire to continue. Someone who used to connect deeply with their children may suddenly feel disconnected, as if the emotional bond has become distant. Depression can make a person disconnect from their own life and from the things that used to make them feel alive.
There are also persistent physical symptoms. A person may have headaches that do not go away even after medication. They may have body pain that remains. They may experience constipation that does not improve. They may feel continuous weakness that does not match the situation. These are physical signs that can sit alongside emotional pain.
And then there is one of the most serious signs—suicidal thinking. Depression can bring thoughts of self-harm. A person may think about ending their life. They may feel like the pain is too much, like they are a burden, like there is no point in continuing. This is not something to dismiss. It is a serious sign that support is urgently needed.
When it comes to causes, I have said that depression is connected to chemical imbalance in the brain—especially the mood-regulating chemicals. But I also understand that other factors can contribute to depression. Environmental factors, psychological factors, and genetic factors can play a role.
Stressful life events are a major trigger for many people. Loss can trigger depression. This loss can be death—losing a parent, losing a child, losing a friend. But loss is not only death. A person can lose a marriage. A person can lose a relationship. A person can lose something they treasured deeply—dreams, opportunities, stability—and depression can follow.
Failure can also trigger depression. Someone can fail exams. Someone can face serious disappointment in education or business. Someone can lose something they worked hard for, and the emotional impact can push them into depression.
Relationships can also contribute. A toxic relationship, an abusive marriage, or a painful home environment can lead to depression. But it is not only toxic relationships. Even a relationship that felt good can end suddenly, and if one partner was deeply invested while the other was not, the person left behind can suffer deeply. The pain of abandonment, rejection, or unexpected separation can trigger depression even when the relationship itself was not abusive.
Financial problems are also real triggers. When someone is scammed, when someone loses money, when a family sells property hoping for a future opportunity and then everything collapses, the emotional impact can be devastating. I remember hearing about someone who was promised that if they paid a certain amount of money, they would be helped to study abroad. The family sacrificed and sold property. Then they were scammed. The disappointment and shame that followed became a doorway into depression. Financial crises can destroy hope, and when hope collapses, depression can begin. Even when someone spends money expecting it to be replaced soon, and then the expected income never comes, the pressure can trap the person in fear and sadness.
Physical illnesses can also contribute. Terminal or chronic illnesses—like cancer, heart disease, diabetes, HIV, kidney failure—can bring depression. Living with long-term illness is heavy, and the emotional weight can trigger depression. Substance use can also contribute. Addiction to alcohol or drugs can push people toward depression, especially when they cannot access what they depend on, or when their bodies and minds begin to break down under the cycle of dependency.
Some medications can also contribute, because depression can appear as a side effect after taking certain drugs. The body and brain react differently in different people, and sometimes mood changes come after long use of certain medications.
When it comes to treatment, I want to repeat what I said earlier: depression is treatable, but early action matters. Treatment includes medication—what people call antidepressants, the medications that help manage and reduce depressive symptoms. Treatment also includes therapy. People need space to talk, to process pain, and to be guided. Treatment can also involve lifestyle changes—changing patterns and choices that increase distress.
Depression affects the body, the mind, and the thoughts. It does not stay in one place. It spreads into how a person sleeps, how a person eats, how a person thinks, and how a person sees themselves. It changes the inside of a person in ways that others may not easily understand, especially if they have never experienced it.
From what I have learned, depression is connected to an imbalance of chemicals in the brain—especially the chemicals that regulate mood. The brain has systems that help a person feel balanced emotionally, and when that mood regulation becomes disturbed, depression can develop. And when depression begins, it starts showing itself in a person’s daily life in ways that cannot be ignored.
One of the biggest signs of depression is sadness, but it is a special kind of sadness. Normal sadness comes and goes. A person can feel sad because of something painful, then with time the sadness reduces. But the sadness of depression stays. It sits in a person for weeks. Sometimes for months. It remains even when there is no immediate event happening. And because it stays, it starts interfering with normal functioning. A person may not feel motivated to go to work. They may not feel interested in the things they used to enjoy. Their sleep may change. Their appetite may change. Their life may begin to shift quietly, slowly, and painfully.
As I talk about symptoms, I want to describe them in the way I have observed them and heard them explained. One symptom is social withdrawal. A person begins to hide. They pull away from people. They stop attending gatherings. They avoid friends. They stay indoors. Depression can make someone disappear while they are still alive. I have seen it. I know of a girl who stayed almost a whole year in a cycle of sleeping, waking up, eating, and going back to bed—without leaving the house. That kind of withdrawal is not laziness. That is illness. That is a mind and body that have lost strength.
Another symptom is persistent sadness—the kind that remains and does not lift. Alongside sadness, there is hopelessness. The person begins to feel like they are not worthy. They begin to feel like life will not improve. They begin to feel like they are stuck. Depression changes how a person talks to themselves inside their mind. It can make someone feel small, defeated, and ashamed even when others see them as valuable.
Depression can also cause difficulty concentrating. A person’s mind becomes slow. Focus becomes hard. Memory becomes affected. Forgetfulness increases. Even simple tasks can feel confusing. The brain becomes tired, and thinking becomes heavy.
Another symptom is change in appetite. Some people eat less and lose weight. Others eat more and gain weight. This is important because many people think depression only looks like weight loss. But depression can also bring weight gain. So weight changes—either direction—can be a sign. Sleep also changes. Some people sleep too much. Others cannot sleep. Either way, the person’s sleeping pattern becomes different from what it used to be. And because sleep is disturbed, energy is disturbed as well.
Loss of energy is another symptom. A person feels weak. They feel drained. They lose interest in what they used to love. Someone who was once active in business may suddenly feel no desire to continue. Someone who used to connect deeply with their children may suddenly feel disconnected, as if the emotional bond has become distant. Depression can make a person disconnect from their own life and from the things that used to make them feel alive.
There are also persistent physical symptoms. A person may have headaches that do not go away even after medication. They may have body pain that remains. They may experience constipation that does not improve. They may feel continuous weakness that does not match the situation. These are physical signs that can sit alongside emotional pain.
And then there is one of the most serious signs—suicidal thinking. Depression can bring thoughts of self-harm. A person may think about ending their life. They may feel like the pain is too much, like they are a burden, like there is no point in continuing. This is not something to dismiss. It is a serious sign that support is urgently needed.
When it comes to causes, I have said that depression is connected to chemical imbalance in the brain—especially the mood-regulating chemicals. But I also understand that other factors can contribute to depression. Environmental factors, psychological factors, and genetic factors can play a role.
Stressful life events are a major trigger for many people. Loss can trigger depression. This loss can be death—losing a parent, losing a child, losing a friend. But loss is not only death. A person can lose a marriage. A person can lose a relationship. A person can lose something they treasured deeply—dreams, opportunities, stability—and depression can follow.
Failure can also trigger depression. Someone can fail exams. Someone can face serious disappointment in education or business. Someone can lose something they worked hard for, and the emotional impact can push them into depression.
Relationships can also contribute. A toxic relationship, an abusive marriage, or a painful home environment can lead to depression. But it is not only toxic relationships. Even a relationship that felt good can end suddenly, and if one partner was deeply invested while the other was not, the person left behind can suffer deeply. The pain of abandonment, rejection, or unexpected separation can trigger depression even when the relationship itself was not abusive.
Financial problems are also real triggers. When someone is scammed, when someone loses money, when a family sells property hoping for a future opportunity and then everything collapses, the emotional impact can be devastating. I remember hearing about someone who was promised that if they paid a certain amount of money, they would be helped to study abroad. The family sacrificed and sold property. Then they were scammed. The disappointment and shame that followed became a doorway into depression. Financial crises can destroy hope, and when hope collapses, depression can begin. Even when someone spends money expecting it to be replaced soon, and then the expected income never comes, the pressure can trap the person in fear and sadness.
Physical illnesses can also contribute. Terminal or chronic illnesses—like cancer, heart disease, diabetes, HIV, kidney failure—can bring depression. Living with long-term illness is heavy, and the emotional weight can trigger depression. Substance use can also contribute. Addiction to alcohol or drugs can push people toward depression, especially when they cannot access what they depend on, or when their bodies and minds begin to break down under the cycle of dependency.
Some medications can also contribute, because depression can appear as a side effect after taking certain drugs. The body and brain react differently in different people, and sometimes mood changes come after long use of certain medications.
When it comes to treatment, I want to repeat what I said earlier: depression is treatable, but early action matters. Treatment includes medication—what people call antidepressants, the medications that help manage and reduce depressive symptoms. Treatment also includes therapy. People need space to talk, to process pain, and to be guided. Treatment can also involve lifestyle changes—changing patterns and choices that increase distress.
And I want to mention one point I have learned through observation and thinking: sometimes depression is connected to expectations. Some people carry very high expectations in marriage, in life, in business, in relationships. When things do not go the way they imagined, the disappointment becomes unbearable. This does not mean the person is weak. It means the mind struggles to adjust when reality collapses. So learning to manage expectations can be part of how someone protects themselves from deep emotional breakdown.
