I want us to talk about something that is very simple, yet very powerful: reasoning through listening. Many people think they listen, but in reality, they do not. Most people hear sounds, but they do not listen to meaning. When it comes to mental health, this becomes a serious problem. People assume that someone with a mental disorder has nothing important to say, nothing meaningful to communicate, or nothing logical to contribute. Because of that assumption, people close their ears before the person even begins to speak. Listening is not optional in mental health care. It is not a favor. It is not kindness. It is essential.
You cannot reason with someone if you do not listen to them. Reasoning begins when you make an effort to understand another person’s world. Many caregivers, family members, and even professionals fail here. They rush to act. They rush to correct. They rush to decide. But they do not pause to listen.
When you do not listen, you end up responding to your own assumptions instead of the person’s real needs. This is where frustration begins—on both sides. People with mental disorders still think. They still feel. They still know what they want. What often changes is how they communicate it.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that communication only happens through spoken words. That is not true. Communication happens through writing, gestures, behavior, technology, facial expressions, silence, repetition, and even distress. I learned this through experience. I once worked with a woman whose speech was severely affected by her mental health condition. She could not speak in the way most people do. If you waited for spoken words, you would think she had nothing to say. But that was not true at all. She had a lot to say—she just said it differently.
We used a small writing board. I would write down what I thought she was trying to communicate. If it was wrong, she would shake her head. If it was right, she would show agreement with a nod. That process required patience, observation, and listening—not with ears, but with attention. Listening, in that moment, was not passive. It was active. It required reasoning, guessing, checking, and adjusting. That is real listening.
You cannot listen properly if you do not know the person. Every individual communicates differently. Some people express needs through words. Others through behavior. Others through tools like phones, tablets, or laptops. I also worked with another person whose speech was not functional at all. This person communicated through a programmed laptop. When he wanted something, he did not speak. He selected words, symbols, and instructions on the screen. He could tell you exactly how he wanted his coffee—how many sugar sachets, how much cream, how long to heat it. He could explain his preferences clearly, but only if you were willing to listen in the way he communicated.
If you ignored the laptop and waited for spoken words, you would fail him. If you rushed him, you would frustrate him. If you assumed, you would get everything wrong. But when you listened—truly listened—everything became easier. Life flowed smoothly. There was less conflict, less stress, and more cooperation.
Many caregivers say, “This person is difficult.” In reality, many times the problem is not the person—it is the listener. When you do not listen, you end up doing things the person does not want. Then the person reacts. They may become upset, withdrawn, angry, or distressed. At that point, caregivers often say the person is “problematic” or “uncooperative.” But the truth is simple: they were not heard. Listening prevents unnecessary conflict. Listening reduces frustration. Listening builds trust.
When you listen to someone, you are telling them, “You matter.” You are telling them, “Your thoughts are important.” You are telling them, “You are still human.” People with mental disorders lose many things in life, but what hurts most is losing their voice. When no one listens, people stop trying to communicate. That silence is not peace—it is resignation. Listening restores dignity.
Listening does not mean you agree with everything. It does not mean you do exactly what the person wants every time. It means you understand first before responding. Reasoning comes after listening, not before. You cannot reason your way into understanding someone without first listening to them.
Many people say they do not have time to listen. But what they do not realize is that not listening costs more time. It leads to repeated misunderstandings, repeated conflicts, emotional exhaustion, and burnout. When you listen well, life becomes easier. Care becomes lighter. Relationships become calmer.
You cannot reason with someone if you do not listen to them. Reasoning begins when you make an effort to understand another person’s world. Many caregivers, family members, and even professionals fail here. They rush to act. They rush to correct. They rush to decide. But they do not pause to listen.
When you do not listen, you end up responding to your own assumptions instead of the person’s real needs. This is where frustration begins—on both sides. People with mental disorders still think. They still feel. They still know what they want. What often changes is how they communicate it.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that communication only happens through spoken words. That is not true. Communication happens through writing, gestures, behavior, technology, facial expressions, silence, repetition, and even distress. I learned this through experience. I once worked with a woman whose speech was severely affected by her mental health condition. She could not speak in the way most people do. If you waited for spoken words, you would think she had nothing to say. But that was not true at all. She had a lot to say—she just said it differently.
We used a small writing board. I would write down what I thought she was trying to communicate. If it was wrong, she would shake her head. If it was right, she would show agreement with a nod. That process required patience, observation, and listening—not with ears, but with attention. Listening, in that moment, was not passive. It was active. It required reasoning, guessing, checking, and adjusting. That is real listening.
You cannot listen properly if you do not know the person. Every individual communicates differently. Some people express needs through words. Others through behavior. Others through tools like phones, tablets, or laptops. I also worked with another person whose speech was not functional at all. This person communicated through a programmed laptop. When he wanted something, he did not speak. He selected words, symbols, and instructions on the screen. He could tell you exactly how he wanted his coffee—how many sugar sachets, how much cream, how long to heat it. He could explain his preferences clearly, but only if you were willing to listen in the way he communicated.
If you ignored the laptop and waited for spoken words, you would fail him. If you rushed him, you would frustrate him. If you assumed, you would get everything wrong. But when you listened—truly listened—everything became easier. Life flowed smoothly. There was less conflict, less stress, and more cooperation.
Many caregivers say, “This person is difficult.” In reality, many times the problem is not the person—it is the listener. When you do not listen, you end up doing things the person does not want. Then the person reacts. They may become upset, withdrawn, angry, or distressed. At that point, caregivers often say the person is “problematic” or “uncooperative.” But the truth is simple: they were not heard. Listening prevents unnecessary conflict. Listening reduces frustration. Listening builds trust.
When you listen to someone, you are telling them, “You matter.” You are telling them, “Your thoughts are important.” You are telling them, “You are still human.” People with mental disorders lose many things in life, but what hurts most is losing their voice. When no one listens, people stop trying to communicate. That silence is not peace—it is resignation. Listening restores dignity.
Listening does not mean you agree with everything. It does not mean you do exactly what the person wants every time. It means you understand first before responding. Reasoning comes after listening, not before. You cannot reason your way into understanding someone without first listening to them.
Many people say they do not have time to listen. But what they do not realize is that not listening costs more time. It leads to repeated misunderstandings, repeated conflicts, emotional exhaustion, and burnout. When you listen well, life becomes easier. Care becomes lighter. Relationships become calmer.
Listening is not just a skill—it is an attitude. It is the willingness to slow down and enter another person’s world. In mental health care, listening is not optional. It is the bridge between confusion and understanding, between frustration and peace. Listen with your ears. Listen with your eyes. Listen with patience. Listen with respect. When you learn how a person communicates, you learn how to support them. And when you listen well, you reason well—and care becomes human again.
