The Politics of Milking Cows in Lari

A Play About Crowds, Campaigns, and the Economy of Elections

Characters

Narrator – Sharp observer of village politics

Chairman wa Groups – Village strategist, politically experienced

Chorus of Villagers – Excited, skeptical, opportunistic

Young Graduate – Educated but unemployed

Mama Mboga – Streetwise trader

Pastor Karanja – Moral voice with practical instincts

MCA Aspirant – Loud and desperate

MP Aspirant – Wealthy and calculating

Governor’s Agent – Distributor of promises and envelopes

Old Man wa Kirenga – Cynical elder

ACT I – The Discovery

Scene 1: Under the Mugumo -ini Tree


(Villagers gathered lazily. Some idle. Others complaining about the economy.)

Narrator: In Lari, elections do not arrive quietly. They come like rain clouds over dry land. And before the first speech is made… politicians begin searching for crowds.

Young Graduate: There are no jobs.

Mama Mboga: Tomatoes are rotting in the market.

Old Man wa Kirenga: And yet politicians are driving new Prados.

(Pause.)

(Enter Chairman wa Groups slowly, smiling like a man who has solved a secret.)

Chairman wa Groups: My people… I really do not know up to when I will tell you to organize yourselves in small groups.

Chorus: Groups?

Chairman wa Groups: Not groups for violence. Not groups for fighting. Groups for eating politics properly!

(Murmurs.)

Mama Mboga: Explain yourself, Chairman.

Chairman wa Groups: Politicians love groups. They fear individuals. An individual cannot make noise in a rally. An individual cannot wave branches. An individual cannot chant slogans properly. An individual cannot attract media. An individual cannot show ground acceptance.

Narrator: And suddenly… the villagers leaned closer. Because in Lari, wisdom sounds sweeter when it smells like money.

ACT II – The Market of Aspirants

Scene 1: Counting the Cows


(Chairman draws imaginary figures on the ground.)

Chairman wa Groups: Listen carefully. In this ward alone— we have twenty MCA aspirants.

Chorus: Twenty?!

Chairman wa Groups: Ten MP aspirants.

Mama Mboga: And women reps?

Chairman wa Groups: Many.

Young Graduate: Senators?

Chairman wa Groups: Too many.

Old Man wa Kirenga: Governors?

Chairman wa Groups: Those ones spend like people escaping death.

(Laughter.)

Chairman wa Groups: All these people are now cash cows.

(Pause.)

Chorus: Cash cows...

Chairman wa Groups: But my people do not know how to milk.

(Silence. Then excitement.)

Narrator: And there it was. A new economic policy for the village. Not farming. Not business. Not employment. Campaign season.

Scene 2: The Training

Chairman wa Groups: Rule number one: Never attend a political meeting alone.

Chorus: Never alone!

Chairman wa Groups: Move in groups of fifty.

Mama Mboga: Even funerals have fewer people nowadays.

Chairman wa Groups: Exactly! A politician must feel important.

Young Graduate: What do we ask for?

Chairman wa Groups: Transport.

Chorus: Transport!

Chairman wa Groups: Lunch.

Chorus: Lunch!

Chairman wa Groups: Facilitation.

Chorus: Facilitation!

Chairman wa Groups: And never call it voter bribery.

Pastor Karanja: Then what should we call it?

Chairman wa Groups: Appreciation for participation.

(Huge laughter.)

ACT III – The Milking

Scene 1: Arrival of the Aspirants

(Music. Dust. Convoys arrive.)

MCA Aspirant: Where are the youth?

Chairman wa Groups: They are coming.

MCA Aspirant: Where are the women?

Chairman wa Groups: Mobilized.

MCA Aspirant: Where are the elders?

Chairman wa Groups: Very expensive nowadays but they are ready with their traditional regalias.

(Enter villagers singing loudly.)

Chorus: Our leader! Our leader!

Narrator: Notice carefully. The louder the singing…the emptier the loyalty.

Scene 2: Negotiations

(Chairman pulls Aspirant aside.)

Chairman wa Groups: My people came from very far.

MCA Aspirant: I already hired tents.

Chairman wa Groups: Crowds do not eat tents.

MCA Aspirant: I printed T-shirts.

Chairman wa Groups: Can T-shirts pay school fees?

MCA Aspirant: What do they want?

Chairman wa Groups: You are asking the wrong question.

MCA Aspirant: What is the right question?

Chairman wa Groups: How badly do you want the seat?

(Pause.)

(Aspirant quietly removes tallow envelope.)

Narrator: And democracy continued its sacred journey.

ACT IV – The Great Harvest

Scene 1: Competition


(Another convoy arrives before the first leaves.)

MP Aspirant: Why are these people wearing another candidate’s T-shirts? 

Chairman wa Groups: Development has many stakeholders.

MP Aspirant: Were they not at my rally yesterday?

Mama Mboga: Leadership requires consistency. That is why we attend all meetings.

Young Graduate: We believe in inclusivity.

(Laughter.)

Governor’s Agent: We need five hundred people tomorrow.

Chairman wa Groups: With or without dancing and ngemi?

Governor’s Agent: With energy.

Chairman wa Groups: Energy costs extra. Coro maí.

Scene 2: Wisdom of the Village

(Night. Villagers counting money.)

Young Graduate: Today I attended three rallies.

Mama Mboga: I attended four.

Old Man wa Kirenga: Last election we were manipulated for free. Today at least inflation has reached politics.

Pastor Karanja: But is this not wrong?

(Silence.)

Chairman wa Groups: Pastor…when elections end, will these people remember us?

Pastor Karanja: Probably not.

Chairman wa Groups: Then this is our season....íkamagwo íría í njoku.

(Pause.)

Chairman wa Groups: The cows are ready.

Chorus: The cows are ready!

Chairman wa Groups: The milk is ready.

Chorus: The milk is ready!

Chairman wa Groups: Your time is now. Milk!

ACT V – After the Milking

Scene 1: Elections End


(Silence. Empty roads. Torn posters everywhere.)

Narrator: Then one morning…the music stopped. No convoys. No envelopes. No promises. Only potholes remained faithfully.

Scene 2: The Forgotten Crowds

Young Graduate: My phone no longer rings.

Mama Mboga: Even the MCA stopped greeting people.

Old Man wa Kirenga: The milk dried.

Pastor Karanja: And now?

(Pause.)

Chairman wa Groups: Now we wait five years again.

Chorus: Five years?

Chairman wa Groups: Yes. Democracy is seasonal work. Ona ng'ombe níhiukagia.

Final Scene

(Villagers stand quietly.)

Narrator: The politicians came looking for crowds. The crowds came looking for survival. Both used each other. And both called it politics.

(Pause.)

Chorus: We sang. We danced. We filled rallies. We hated each other. We milked the cows.

(Pause.)

Chorus (softly): But somehow…we remained poor.

(Long silence.)

Old Man wa Kirenga: One day…we shall stop renting ourselves to politicians…

Young Graduate: …and start demanding something more expensive than money.

Mama Mboga: Responsibility.

Pastor Karanja: Truth.

Chairman wa Groups: And dignity.

(Curtain falls.)

Far away, campaign music begins again. Some villagers slowly turn their heads.

Blackout.

David Waithera

David Waithera is a Writer · Author . Ethics Thinker · Moral Storyteller.

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