I want to talk about something that many people ignore, yet it can either calm a storm or ignite it. That thing is communication. Communication is not only important in mental health. It is important in life. But when it comes to mental disorders, communication becomes even more sensitive, because the person you are speaking to may already be fighting a battle inside their mind. The way you speak, the way you look at them, the tone you use, and the patience you carry can either make them feel safe or make them feel threatened.
I have come to learn that many people communicate in a judgmental way. Instead of seeing someone as a human being who is suffering, they speak as if the person caused their own problem. They speak as if the person is responsible for their disorder, as if it is their fault, as if they chose to struggle. And when communication is filled with judgment, the person does not feel understood. They feel attacked. And when they feel attacked, they either withdraw, become defensive, or react in ways people later call “challenging behavior.”
Another thing I have noticed is that many people do not listen. They may appear present, but their mind is already full of answers. They respond too fast. They interrupt. They assume. They conclude before they understand. And the truth is that for someone living with a mental disorder, that kind of interaction can feel like rejection. This is why I say the most important part of communication when providing care is listening.
Listening is not a small skill. It is a powerful form of support. When you listen, you communicate something deeper than words. You communicate, “You matter. I see you. I am here.” Even if the person is talking about things that sound confusing, unusual, or out of this world, your listening can still bring stability. Because to them, their experience is real. Even if you cannot see what they are seeing, even if you cannot understand everything they are saying, listening still gives them dignity.
Sometimes people believe they must correct the person immediately. They want to argue. They want to prove them wrong. They want to explain reality forcefully. But many times, that approach does not help. In fact, it can cause more chaos. It can make the person feel challenged, embarrassed, or controlled. And when someone with a mental disorder feels controlled, you may see agitation rise instead of calm.
So listening becomes a form of de-escalation. It becomes a way of reducing tension. It becomes a way of creating peace without even fighting. And listening does not always require you to give feedback. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is quiet attention. Some people just want someone to sit with them and hear them. They may not need solutions. They may not need correction. They may need presence.
There is also another part of communication that matters deeply: the way you respond. When you speak to someone with a mental disorder, do not speak like you are commanding them. Do not speak like you are trying to control them. Do not speak with ego. Do not speak with bitterness. Do not speak with the energy of someone who is in a hurry. When you respond that way, it can ignite fire. It can increase confusion. It can create chaos. It can turn a small moment into a crisis.
Sometimes, it is better to keep quiet than to speak from frustration. Calmness is not weakness. Calmness is strength. Calmness is control. Calmness is safety. When you respond in a cool and steady way, you communicate stability. You show the person that you are not a threat. You show them that you are not fighting them. You show them that they are safe in your presence. And that is one of the greatest supports you can offer anyone—especially someone whose mind may already feel unsafe to them.
So communication in mental health care is not just talking. It is listening. It is patience. It is calmness. It is respect. It is learning how to respond instead of reacting. And it is avoiding judgment, because judgment closes doors, but understanding opens them. And as I always say, this does not apply only to mental health. It applies to life. The way we listen and the way we respond can either build relationships or destroy them. It can either heal or harm. It can either bring peace or create conflict.
I have come to learn that many people communicate in a judgmental way. Instead of seeing someone as a human being who is suffering, they speak as if the person caused their own problem. They speak as if the person is responsible for their disorder, as if it is their fault, as if they chose to struggle. And when communication is filled with judgment, the person does not feel understood. They feel attacked. And when they feel attacked, they either withdraw, become defensive, or react in ways people later call “challenging behavior.”
Another thing I have noticed is that many people do not listen. They may appear present, but their mind is already full of answers. They respond too fast. They interrupt. They assume. They conclude before they understand. And the truth is that for someone living with a mental disorder, that kind of interaction can feel like rejection. This is why I say the most important part of communication when providing care is listening.
Listening is not a small skill. It is a powerful form of support. When you listen, you communicate something deeper than words. You communicate, “You matter. I see you. I am here.” Even if the person is talking about things that sound confusing, unusual, or out of this world, your listening can still bring stability. Because to them, their experience is real. Even if you cannot see what they are seeing, even if you cannot understand everything they are saying, listening still gives them dignity.
Sometimes people believe they must correct the person immediately. They want to argue. They want to prove them wrong. They want to explain reality forcefully. But many times, that approach does not help. In fact, it can cause more chaos. It can make the person feel challenged, embarrassed, or controlled. And when someone with a mental disorder feels controlled, you may see agitation rise instead of calm.
So listening becomes a form of de-escalation. It becomes a way of reducing tension. It becomes a way of creating peace without even fighting. And listening does not always require you to give feedback. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is quiet attention. Some people just want someone to sit with them and hear them. They may not need solutions. They may not need correction. They may need presence.
There is also another part of communication that matters deeply: the way you respond. When you speak to someone with a mental disorder, do not speak like you are commanding them. Do not speak like you are trying to control them. Do not speak with ego. Do not speak with bitterness. Do not speak with the energy of someone who is in a hurry. When you respond that way, it can ignite fire. It can increase confusion. It can create chaos. It can turn a small moment into a crisis.
Sometimes, it is better to keep quiet than to speak from frustration. Calmness is not weakness. Calmness is strength. Calmness is control. Calmness is safety. When you respond in a cool and steady way, you communicate stability. You show the person that you are not a threat. You show them that you are not fighting them. You show them that they are safe in your presence. And that is one of the greatest supports you can offer anyone—especially someone whose mind may already feel unsafe to them.
So communication in mental health care is not just talking. It is listening. It is patience. It is calmness. It is respect. It is learning how to respond instead of reacting. And it is avoiding judgment, because judgment closes doors, but understanding opens them. And as I always say, this does not apply only to mental health. It applies to life. The way we listen and the way we respond can either build relationships or destroy them. It can either heal or harm. It can either bring peace or create conflict.
So if you are a caregiver, if you live with someone who has a mental disorder, or if you support someone going through emotional struggles, I say this: learn communication. Practice listening. Let calmness guide your response. And remember that sometimes your silence, your patience, and your attention can be more powerful than any advice you could ever give.
