A Satirical Play About Campaign Hygiene, Village Labor, and Power-Induced Amnesia
Characters
Mzee Mbereri – Narrator; philosopher of disappointment; chief archivist of political foolishness.
Hon. Mungai wa Kigeugeu – The chameleon politician; king of fake humility; lord of mood swings.
Mama Waithiegeni – Chief observer of village behavior; can spot lies the way goats spot maize.
Karis the Milk Philosopher – From Kariko; milks cows, but also milks politicians for truths.
Wakonyo the Banana Reaper – From Karigu-ini; sharp-tongued, immune to nonsense.
Chorus of Gitithia, Bathi, Kariko, Karigu-ini, Mugumo-ini & Kanyekini Villagers – gullible yet dramatic.
Karanja Ka Slogan – Paid storyteller; makes speeches sweeter than mango juice.
ACT I – The Humble Beginnings of Mungai wa Kigeugeu
Scene 1: The Miraculous Humility Tour
(Lights rise on villagers seated outside mud houses. Enter Mungai wa Kigeugeu barefoot, smiling like a man auditioning for sainthood.)
Mzee Mbereri (to audience): Behold… Mungai wa Kigeugeu! The man who turned humility into a full-time campaign job.
Mama Waithiegeni: I remember the day he visited Gitithia. He split firewood so aggressively for the villagers, even our axes felt unemployed.
Karis the Milk Philosopher: In Kariko, he milked cows for the villagers like he had a PhD in lactation. Even my cows were confused.
Wakonyo the Banana Reaper: In Karigu-ini? This man harvested bananas for the villagers like a professional monkey.
Villagers of Bathi (yelling): He washed our dishes! He scrubbed laundry! He even soaked his pride in Menengai bar soap!
Mzee Mbereri: And at Mugumo-ini, he picked tea like he was being paid per leaf. At Kanyekini, I heard he dug barefoot — barefoot! — as if gumboats were a Western conspiracy.
Chorus (cheering with dangerous excitement): Our humble leader! Our humble leader!
Mzee Mbereri (dryly): Humility… ladies and gentlemen… is the cheapest campaign strategy.
(Lights fade.)
ACT II – The Election and Immediate Transformation
Scene 1: The Swearing-In That Swore Us Out
(Lights up. Mungai now wears sunglasses, a shiny suit, and an ego the size of Gíkohi forest)
Mzee Mbereri: The election ended. And our humble man mutated like our past leaders.
Hon. Mungai (shouting): Stop disturbing me with your petty village problems!
Mama Waithiegeni (shocked): But sir… you used to wash our dishes!
Hon. Mungai: That was before power. Please don’t bring up my history of poverty.
Karis the Milk Philosopher: You promised water…
Hon. Mungai (raising hand like a prophet of nonsense): Ah yes! I promised you a borehole so you can wash and stop smelling of struggle. “Níngûmwenjera borehole mwíthambe mûkonyoke!”
Villagers gasp.
Mzee Mbereri (to audience): Yes, he said it. Loudly. Boldly. With the confidence of a man whose ancestors were deodorant manufacturers.
(Lights dim.)
ACT III – The Era of Grand Theft and Grand Insults
Scene 1: The Harvest of Corruption
(Lights rise. Mungai sits at a desk counting money like a primary school mathematics demonstration.)
Mzee Mbereri: He stole village resources the way children steal chapati — without guilt or evidence of chewing.
Wakonyo the Banana Reaper: I thought he knew our problems. Turns out he only knew where they kept the funds.
Karis: At this point, even our cows could tell we were doomed.
Mama Waithiegeni: He insults us every chance he gets. Like abuse is part of his job description.
Mzee Mbereri (dryly): He abuses us with the dedication of a man running for the championship.
ACT IV – Karanja Ka Slogan Comes to Explain the Unexplainable
(Karanja Ka Slogan walks in waving a small envelope of cash.)
Karanja Ka Slogan (dramatically): People of the villages! Our honorable leader is a visionary! He is building invisible projects! Strategic developments you cannot see because they are too advanced!
Chorus (confused): Too advanced?
Karanja Ka Slogan: Yes! They exist in the spiritual realm.
Mzee Mbereri: This man is not a spokesperson. He is a fictional storyteller.
ACT V – The Villagers and Their Legendary Memory Loss
Scene 1: The Chameleon Returns for Re-Election
(Lights blare. Mungai returns with a forced smile and a bag of expired promises.)
Hon. Mungai: My people! I am back!
Chorus (jumping): Our humble leader has returned!
Mama Waithiegeni (shouting): Are you people bewitched?! This man insulted us for years!
Chorus: But he washed dishes once!
Wakonyo: He called us dirty!
Chorus: But he harvested bananas!
Mzee Mbereri (looking at audience): And that, ladies and gentlemen… is how stupidity wins elections.
(Lights fade to the sound of goats bleating in disappointment.)
ACT VI – Final Lesson from the Chameleon of Lari
A spotlight hits Mzee Mbereri.
Mzee Mbereri: The villagers used to say, “Mungai is a chameleon… changing color to blend into any environment.” But the truth is worse. He changed color to deceive every environment.
He was humble when he needed votes… Arrogant when he got power…Insulting when questioned…And generous again when elections returned.
He is not a chameleon. He is a mirror. Reflecting the very problem we refuse to fix; a people who forget too quickly. A people who forgive too cheaply. A people who fall for humility shows… while their pockets are being emptied backstage.
(He steps forward.)
My friends… If political memory was food, Lari villages would be starving.
Curtain.
Characters
Mzee Mbereri – Narrator; philosopher of disappointment; chief archivist of political foolishness.
Hon. Mungai wa Kigeugeu – The chameleon politician; king of fake humility; lord of mood swings.
Mama Waithiegeni – Chief observer of village behavior; can spot lies the way goats spot maize.
Karis the Milk Philosopher – From Kariko; milks cows, but also milks politicians for truths.
Wakonyo the Banana Reaper – From Karigu-ini; sharp-tongued, immune to nonsense.
Chorus of Gitithia, Bathi, Kariko, Karigu-ini, Mugumo-ini & Kanyekini Villagers – gullible yet dramatic.
Karanja Ka Slogan – Paid storyteller; makes speeches sweeter than mango juice.
ACT I – The Humble Beginnings of Mungai wa Kigeugeu
Scene 1: The Miraculous Humility Tour
(Lights rise on villagers seated outside mud houses. Enter Mungai wa Kigeugeu barefoot, smiling like a man auditioning for sainthood.)
Mzee Mbereri (to audience): Behold… Mungai wa Kigeugeu! The man who turned humility into a full-time campaign job.
Mama Waithiegeni: I remember the day he visited Gitithia. He split firewood so aggressively for the villagers, even our axes felt unemployed.
Karis the Milk Philosopher: In Kariko, he milked cows for the villagers like he had a PhD in lactation. Even my cows were confused.
Wakonyo the Banana Reaper: In Karigu-ini? This man harvested bananas for the villagers like a professional monkey.
Villagers of Bathi (yelling): He washed our dishes! He scrubbed laundry! He even soaked his pride in Menengai bar soap!
Mzee Mbereri: And at Mugumo-ini, he picked tea like he was being paid per leaf. At Kanyekini, I heard he dug barefoot — barefoot! — as if gumboats were a Western conspiracy.
Chorus (cheering with dangerous excitement): Our humble leader! Our humble leader!
Mzee Mbereri (dryly): Humility… ladies and gentlemen… is the cheapest campaign strategy.
(Lights fade.)
ACT II – The Election and Immediate Transformation
Scene 1: The Swearing-In That Swore Us Out
(Lights up. Mungai now wears sunglasses, a shiny suit, and an ego the size of Gíkohi forest)
Mzee Mbereri: The election ended. And our humble man mutated like our past leaders.
Hon. Mungai (shouting): Stop disturbing me with your petty village problems!
Mama Waithiegeni (shocked): But sir… you used to wash our dishes!
Hon. Mungai: That was before power. Please don’t bring up my history of poverty.
Karis the Milk Philosopher: You promised water…
Hon. Mungai (raising hand like a prophet of nonsense): Ah yes! I promised you a borehole so you can wash and stop smelling of struggle. “Níngûmwenjera borehole mwíthambe mûkonyoke!”
Villagers gasp.
Mzee Mbereri (to audience): Yes, he said it. Loudly. Boldly. With the confidence of a man whose ancestors were deodorant manufacturers.
(Lights dim.)
ACT III – The Era of Grand Theft and Grand Insults
Scene 1: The Harvest of Corruption
(Lights rise. Mungai sits at a desk counting money like a primary school mathematics demonstration.)
Mzee Mbereri: He stole village resources the way children steal chapati — without guilt or evidence of chewing.
Wakonyo the Banana Reaper: I thought he knew our problems. Turns out he only knew where they kept the funds.
Karis: At this point, even our cows could tell we were doomed.
Mama Waithiegeni: He insults us every chance he gets. Like abuse is part of his job description.
Mzee Mbereri (dryly): He abuses us with the dedication of a man running for the championship.
ACT IV – Karanja Ka Slogan Comes to Explain the Unexplainable
(Karanja Ka Slogan walks in waving a small envelope of cash.)
Karanja Ka Slogan (dramatically): People of the villages! Our honorable leader is a visionary! He is building invisible projects! Strategic developments you cannot see because they are too advanced!
Chorus (confused): Too advanced?
Karanja Ka Slogan: Yes! They exist in the spiritual realm.
Mzee Mbereri: This man is not a spokesperson. He is a fictional storyteller.
ACT V – The Villagers and Their Legendary Memory Loss
Scene 1: The Chameleon Returns for Re-Election
(Lights blare. Mungai returns with a forced smile and a bag of expired promises.)
Hon. Mungai: My people! I am back!
Chorus (jumping): Our humble leader has returned!
Mama Waithiegeni (shouting): Are you people bewitched?! This man insulted us for years!
Chorus: But he washed dishes once!
Wakonyo: He called us dirty!
Chorus: But he harvested bananas!
Mzee Mbereri (looking at audience): And that, ladies and gentlemen… is how stupidity wins elections.
(Lights fade to the sound of goats bleating in disappointment.)
ACT VI – Final Lesson from the Chameleon of Lari
A spotlight hits Mzee Mbereri.
Mzee Mbereri: The villagers used to say, “Mungai is a chameleon… changing color to blend into any environment.” But the truth is worse. He changed color to deceive every environment.
He was humble when he needed votes… Arrogant when he got power…Insulting when questioned…And generous again when elections returned.
He is not a chameleon. He is a mirror. Reflecting the very problem we refuse to fix; a people who forget too quickly. A people who forgive too cheaply. A people who fall for humility shows… while their pockets are being emptied backstage.
(He steps forward.)
My friends… If political memory was food, Lari villages would be starving.
Curtain.
