A Satirical Play About Memory Loss, Handouts, and Hope That Never Learns
Characters
Villager – Narrator, philosopher of disappointment, chronicler of Lari political mysteries.
Mungai – The MP who won by handouts, vanished for 4 years, and returns loudly.
Kanya Ka Ndeto – Village crier for hire; speaks in slogans paid per sentence.
Mama Kagecha – A voter from Kinale; expert on mud roads.
Old Man from Githogoiyo – Has never seen development; has stopped expecting it.
Youth from Matathia – Still hopeful, God bless his soul.
Chorus of Lari People – Easily excited, easily convinced, easily disappointed.
ACT I – The MP Who Came in with Handouts
Scene 1: The Election That Began It All
(Lights up. Posters reading “Vote Mungai – The Man of the People” fly across the stage. Mungai stands with a sack of money and unshaven cheeks.)
Villager (addressing audience): Ladies and gentlemen… behold Mungai. A man who understood the Lari formula; Food today = votes tomorrow. And so, he handed out notes like wedding cards.
Mama Kagecha: I remember that day. He pressed a 200 bob note into my hand so tightly; I felt development enter my bloodstream.
Old Man from Githogoiyo: I voted for him because he gave me 500 bob. That was the biggest government project I have ever received in my life.
Chorus of Lari People: (cheering) Our able MP! Our able MP!
Villager: And with that… Mungai ascended to the throne of nothingness.
(Lights fade.)
ACT II – Four Years of Pure, Clean, Undiluted Nothing
Scene 1: Kinale – Where Roads Are Mud Swimming Pools
(Lights up. Kinale villagers swim across a black, muddy stage.)
Mama Kagecha: This is Kinale. Where our roads are so muddy you need swimming lessons to visit your neighbor.
Villager: Mungai promised to fix these roads.
Mama Kagecha: Fix? My friend, even the mud is shocked he said that.
Scene 3: Nyanduma and Kamburu – The Disowned Children of Lari
Villager: Nyanduma and Kamburu… Two villages so forgotten that even Google Maps does not suggest them.
A villager from Nyanduma (shouting): Sometimes I think we are not part of Lari. Maybe we were accidentally added on the map during colonial confusion.
Chorus of Lari People: (sympathetic murmurs) Hmmmmmm…
Scene 1: The Resurrection
(Lights burst open. Mungai appears dramatically with a fake smile.)
Villager: Four silent years. Not a project. Not a speech. Not a road. Not even a funeral attendance. Then suddenly…
Mungai (raising arms): My people! I have returned!
Mama Kagecha: Returned from where?
Mungai: Development tours!
Chorus: Which development?
Mungai: (ignoring the question) I am here for re-election. Your problems are my priority!
Villager: A priority he remembered… one year before elections.
Scene 1: The Bewitched Choir
Chorus of Lari People (excited): Our able MP! Our able MP! Our able MP!
Villager (shocked): But he did NOTHING.
Chorus: (confidently) But he will DO!
Villager: When?
Chorus: After we re-elect him!
Villager: But he already had five years!
Chorus: (one voice, hypnotized) Our able MP!
Villager (looking at audience, defeated): Ladies and gentlemen…There comes a time when analysis must end. Because how do you explain voters who have turned slogans into lullabies…
even when their villages still swim in mud?
(Lights dim. Soft drums echo.)
ACT VI – The Final Warning
Villager (spotlight): And so ends the tale of Mungai… The MP who came with handouts… Governing with absences…Returning with slogans…And being welcomed with songs. This is Lari. Where memory is short…Where hope is cheap…Where slogans beat reality…And where a man can do NOTHING for five years…and still return as the “Able MP.”
(He sighs deeply.)
Villager: My friends… if ignorance is a disease, then Lari needs a hospital.
(Curtain.)
Characters
Villager – Narrator, philosopher of disappointment, chronicler of Lari political mysteries.
Mungai – The MP who won by handouts, vanished for 4 years, and returns loudly.
Kanya Ka Ndeto – Village crier for hire; speaks in slogans paid per sentence.
Mama Kagecha – A voter from Kinale; expert on mud roads.
Old Man from Githogoiyo – Has never seen development; has stopped expecting it.
Youth from Matathia – Still hopeful, God bless his soul.
Chorus of Lari People – Easily excited, easily convinced, easily disappointed.
ACT I – The MP Who Came in with Handouts
Scene 1: The Election That Began It All
(Lights up. Posters reading “Vote Mungai – The Man of the People” fly across the stage. Mungai stands with a sack of money and unshaven cheeks.)
Villager (addressing audience): Ladies and gentlemen… behold Mungai. A man who understood the Lari formula; Food today = votes tomorrow. And so, he handed out notes like wedding cards.
Mama Kagecha: I remember that day. He pressed a 200 bob note into my hand so tightly; I felt development enter my bloodstream.
Old Man from Githogoiyo: I voted for him because he gave me 500 bob. That was the biggest government project I have ever received in my life.
Chorus of Lari People: (cheering) Our able MP! Our able MP!
Villager: And with that… Mungai ascended to the throne of nothingness.
(Lights fade.)
ACT II – Four Years of Pure, Clean, Undiluted Nothing
Scene 1: Kinale – Where Roads Are Mud Swimming Pools
(Lights up. Kinale villagers swim across a black, muddy stage.)
Mama Kagecha: This is Kinale. Where our roads are so muddy you need swimming lessons to visit your neighbor.
Villager: Mungai promised to fix these roads.
Mama Kagecha: Fix? My friend, even the mud is shocked he said that.
Scene 2: Githogoiyo – The Forgotten Kingdom
Old Man from Githogoiyo (sitting on a big rock): I come from Githogoiyo… A place where Mungai has never set foot since the elections. No roads. No water. No projects. Not even a signboard to lie that something might one day come.
Villager: To live here is to be free from the burden of expectation.
Old Man from Githogoiyo (sitting on a big rock): I come from Githogoiyo… A place where Mungai has never set foot since the elections. No roads. No water. No projects. Not even a signboard to lie that something might one day come.
Villager: To live here is to be free from the burden of expectation.
Scene 3: Nyanduma and Kamburu – The Disowned Children of Lari
Villager: Nyanduma and Kamburu… Two villages so forgotten that even Google Maps does not suggest them.
A villager from Nyanduma (shouting): Sometimes I think we are not part of Lari. Maybe we were accidentally added on the map during colonial confusion.
Chorus of Lari People: (sympathetic murmurs) Hmmmmmm…
Scene 4: Matathia – The Village of Eternal Hope
Youth of Matathia (bright-eyed): But we… we still believe! Maybe this year something will happen. Maybe he remembers us. Maybe he has a plan. Or we come up with our OWN.
Villager (softly): Poor child. Hope is dangerous in Lari. Especially when directed at an MP.
Scene 5: Nyambari – The Village That Gave Up in 1964
Old women of Nyambari (laughing bitterly): My son… we have seen NOTHING since independence. If nothing happened in 1964, why should we expect something in the remaining one year of Mungai’s term?
Villager: Nyambari is where optimism goes to die.
(Lights fade.)
Youth of Matathia (bright-eyed): But we… we still believe! Maybe this year something will happen. Maybe he remembers us. Maybe he has a plan. Or we come up with our OWN.
Villager (softly): Poor child. Hope is dangerous in Lari. Especially when directed at an MP.
Scene 5: Nyambari – The Village That Gave Up in 1964
Old women of Nyambari (laughing bitterly): My son… we have seen NOTHING since independence. If nothing happened in 1964, why should we expect something in the remaining one year of Mungai’s term?
Villager: Nyambari is where optimism goes to die.
(Lights fade.)
ACT III – The Miraculous Return of Mungai
Scene 1: The Resurrection
(Lights burst open. Mungai appears dramatically with a fake smile.)
Villager: Four silent years. Not a project. Not a speech. Not a road. Not even a funeral attendance. Then suddenly…
Mungai (raising arms): My people! I have returned!
Mama Kagecha: Returned from where?
Mungai: Development tours!
Chorus: Which development?
Mungai: (ignoring the question) I am here for re-election. Your problems are my priority!
Villager: A priority he remembered… one year before elections.
ACT IV – The Legend of Kanya Ka Ndeto
Scene 1: The Paid Praise Singer
(Drums. Kanya Ka Ndeto enters waving a tiny envelope of money.)
Kanya Ka Ndeto: Listen, people of Lari! Our able MP has plans! Big plans! Huge plans! Plans that will shock the Larians!
Villager: The only thing that shocked us…is that this is the same man who did NOTHING.
Mama Kagecha (to Kanya): Has he done a single project?
Kanya Ka Ndeto: (shrugging) The project is coming.
Old Man Githogoiyo: When?
Kanya Ka Ndeto: (smiling confidently) After elections.
Villager: He has been paid to speak, not to think.
ACT V – The People Who Never Learn
Scene 1: The Paid Praise Singer
(Drums. Kanya Ka Ndeto enters waving a tiny envelope of money.)
Kanya Ka Ndeto: Listen, people of Lari! Our able MP has plans! Big plans! Huge plans! Plans that will shock the Larians!
Villager: The only thing that shocked us…is that this is the same man who did NOTHING.
Mama Kagecha (to Kanya): Has he done a single project?
Kanya Ka Ndeto: (shrugging) The project is coming.
Old Man Githogoiyo: When?
Kanya Ka Ndeto: (smiling confidently) After elections.
Villager: He has been paid to speak, not to think.
ACT V – The People Who Never Learn
Scene 1: The Bewitched Choir
Chorus of Lari People (excited): Our able MP! Our able MP! Our able MP!
Villager (shocked): But he did NOTHING.
Chorus: (confidently) But he will DO!
Villager: When?
Chorus: After we re-elect him!
Villager: But he already had five years!
Chorus: (one voice, hypnotized) Our able MP!
Villager (looking at audience, defeated): Ladies and gentlemen…There comes a time when analysis must end. Because how do you explain voters who have turned slogans into lullabies…
even when their villages still swim in mud?
(Lights dim. Soft drums echo.)
ACT VI – The Final Warning
Villager (spotlight): And so ends the tale of Mungai… The MP who came with handouts… Governing with absences…Returning with slogans…And being welcomed with songs. This is Lari. Where memory is short…Where hope is cheap…Where slogans beat reality…And where a man can do NOTHING for five years…and still return as the “Able MP.”
(He sighs deeply.)
Villager: My friends… if ignorance is a disease, then Lari needs a hospital.
(Curtain.)
